Dear Octopus,

You are 8 months .... please tell me where the time goes, I feel like just yesterday I was in the hospital cuddling you after you were born. After having a little girl first I didn't know exactly what I would do with a boy, but oh was I wrong! You have captured my heart. You draw me in with your smile, your sweet disposition and your Mama's boy cuddles. Heavenly Father sent me a true angel ... you are perfect! I have felt an unbelievable emotional and spiritual bond with you that only grows on a daily basis. I think of you and a smile spreads across my face. I can see you are sensitive but tough. You have amazed me with your toughness from day one and you can handle your sissy malling you and getting well ... a little rough with you all day long. You handle it all like a champ. No one can make you laugh like she does - no one! You see her and your eyes light up and well that makes a Mamma happy. I want you guys to be best friends forever! There is no better sound in this world than to hear you two belly laughing together. She wanted to name you Octopus and never gave up on it - we thought about giving in BUT decided on Beau Duke ;). What a perfect name you have. Your Daddy is a man you will always look up - a man of honor, a man of love. Everyone loves and admires your Dad, he's funny and kind. He's mellow and laid back. He makes me laugh and makes me happy I want you to always remember that. You may still be a baby but you remind of your Daddy with your laid back mellow disposition and with a joy inside you that shines through. We named you perfectly and you're lucky to be named after such an incredible man .... that man you call will Daddy.

Your eyes have a permanent sparkle in them (literally and metaphorically). I feel blessed to be able to look at those eyes day after day. You make me smile little boy ... we call you Beau Dukey. I can't wait to watch you grow - just please don't do it too quickly! I know I will forever miss holding you. I love holding you - tight.

Until next time ... good night my little lovey.

With all my love,

your mama

Dear Andie Belle,

Today I had a pounding headache and so when I put Beau Duke down for his nap I asked you to also take a nap and that I would lay by you and have a sleepover. You love sleepovers a.lot. We laid tightly together on your little twin bed and you talked and you talked and you talked. I love to listen to you talk. You are mature far beyond your years which sometimes makes me happy and sometimes makes me sad. Today as we laid there together you started to talk about Grandma Drury, which you often do but today was different. Your eyes welled up with alligator tears and your face was sad ... very sad. This was not the cry of your regular 3 year old cry, this was a true sad cry. You told me about how much you missed her and how sad you were that you were never going to see her again. You kept saying 'but I love her and I want to see her again'. I cried with you and you wiped my tears and asked me if I was sad too and I told I was and that I missed her too but that it mad Mom really sad that you never got to spend a lot of time with her. I promised you that we would see Grandma Drury again and that everything was going to be okay and you said "I know but it's just so hard". For a 3 year old my sweetheart you understand well. You told me your heart was broken and I then cried harder for you. It's hard for a Mom to watch her daughter be sad, really really hard. I told you about how much she loved to hold you and you cried more and said but now she'll never hold me again. I told you that she is your guardian angel and that she is and always will watch over you. That she loved you very much! My sweet Andie Belle I want you to remember your Grandma forever and I want you to know that you have an unbelievable bond with her that can never be broken. You were one when she passed and you remember her all too well ... there is a reason for that - hold strong to your love for the sweet lady you call Grandma Drury. This is something that will always strongly connect you to your Daddy. A month or so after your Grandma died you saw her and kept blowing kisses to her and waving. I know you saw her and I'm glad you did. Your sweet Grandma Drury always told me that when you looked at people you weren't just looking at them but you were seeing straight through to their soul. I understand her now and believe that to the fullest ... she was right you do!!

I love you sweet baby girl. I love your love for people. I love your zest for life. I love your heart as it is a sweet and sensitive one. I love your laughter and your beautiful smile. I love how you see straight to everyone's soul.

I love you sweet daughter, good night!!